Beach Talk Saturday Morning

[Snick]

Siobhan waited until they were out by the rocks before she started talking. "Pratt, you know how I feel about you. But you know I'm proud. I can't accept charity. You're my boyfriend, not my sugar daddy, as my mother would call it."

---

"Whatever I did, I'm sorry," Pratt blurted as soon as they were away from the lighthouse. "Please don't break up with me."

His voice didn't sound like his own when he repeated in a soggy whisper, "Please." Pratt's heart rate was much too high and his throat was dry and tight. His chest ached and his eyes were wet, but he was willing himself not to cry. He was a man and he would survive.

Pratt stopped. "Charity? It wouldn't be charity, it would be a gift," he frowned. "I can't give you gifts?"

---

Siobhan turned and looked him in the face incredulously. He thought she was breaking up with him? "You can give me gifts, like the perfume. But big things--well, things can get more expensive as the relationship gets more committed. But we aren't up to expensive, and it just makes me feel like a charity case." She smiled at him. "I'm not poor. Maybe not a rich Pratt or Laudbaum, but not poor."

---

"I'm not rich, either, Siobhan," Pratt was still frowning. "You know my dad cut me off, and my mom passes me scraps under the table. Most of what I have is what I've saved up. And I could probably get a free broom if I kissed a little ass. But either way, the cost of a gift shouldn't matter. If I give you something cheap it doesn't mean I love you less, and if I give you something expensive it doesn't mean I expect more. It just means I love you."

Pratt started walking again, a fast pace with his arms crossed. "But fine. I won't buy you anything," he concluded.

---

"How about, you can give me a broom, if it's your used one?" she suggested. "I'd rather have one that was loved by you first anyway." She smiled coyly. "I'm not saying I don't like presents . . . I just don't like you doing things I can't reciprocate. I love you too, but I have no way to show it that's as big as that."

---

"But you deserve better than my hand-me-downs," Pratt shook his head. Maybe she should break up with him. How were they going to work when he wanted to give her the things she deserved, but she didn't want to accept them? "You don't have to give me anything in return. That you love me at all is a miracle and enough of a reciprocation."

---

Siobhan shook her head. "It's not just my pride and my reluctance to accept charity. If people see me riding around on a new broom, don't you know what they'll think? They'll think I'm putting out. My mother is right about this one. I wouldn't be able to accept it. Please, I know you mean it with love and nothing more, but I would feel better with your old one. Ask your mom for a new one, for you. I would love your old broom knowing it was yours."

---

"They'll think because you're riding a Pratt, you're riding a Pratt?" he laughed. "So what if they think that? What does it matter? It isn't true."

Pratt didn't understand why they were still arguing, he'd already said he wasn't going to buy her anything. "People think a lot of bad things about me that aren't true, but I don't give a shit. All I care is what you think of me," he shook his head. "If you want my old broom, take it. I'm done with this ridiculousness. One excuse after another."

He turned and started walking back. The more they discussed it, the more annoyed and mad he got.

---

"Gilligan, don't go . . ." Siobhan stopped and waited for him to turn around. "As long as we're out here together, we might as well make use of it, don't you think?" She looked up at the blue sky, the bit of soft sand in front of the rocks, the crashing waves, and reached her hands out to him. Besides, one day, maybe we'll be lucky and I'll let you spend a whole bunch of money on me, she thought quietly, hoping that somehow, against the odds, when it came time, he would be the one who would put a diamond on her finger.

---

He stopped and turned around, but didn't start walking back.

"I'm not in the mood for the beach," Pratt said. Not everything could be fixed with a kiss. He stood there, staring at her and her reaching hands. All he wanted to do was give her something special because she was special to him. Shaking his head sadly, he turned back around.

[Snick]

Siobhan stuck out her lower lip and dropped her hands. She didn't know whether to cry or get mad, but in a flash of Irish temper, getting angry won out. "Damn it, Pratt! I can't please both you and my parents! I try to please everybody, but sometimes I just can't!" She stomped up to him and gave him a shove in both shoulders. "Buy me the damned broom then, and I'll tell my parents it's used, and then I'll go to confession and tell the priest I lied, and then when people talk about me, I'll tell them I'm not a whore, and then when Lorccan asks what's become of my pride, I'll tell him I didn't take charity, you gave it to me because you love me and I love you and that's why I accepted it!"

---

Pratt stumbled forward, not expecting to be pushed, then spun around. He towered over her, his eyes dark and narrow. If she were a guy, he'd shove her right back. Instead, he glowered at her in silence for a moment before chuckling and shaking his head again.

"I already said I'm not buying you anything, and you can have my freakin' broom, Siobhan," Pratt said, jaw stiff. "I think your reasoning is stupid, but it's what you want. That's all I want, is to give you what you want."

Pratt cupped her chin, not gently, but not hard enough to really hurt. "You were wrong about me for three years. You were wrong about your brother tattling on us. You might be wrong about everything else, too," the way his words snagged in his throat, it was possible there was something else bugging him. "You can't make me feel guilty for your hangups."

He turned from her again and started walking.

---

"I'm not used to being called stupid, Phrixos Azreal Pratt, the fourth. What everything else do you think I'm wrong about? You? Us? Do you think because I didn't know my brother would act out of character that I don't know my own heart? If you really want to give me what I want, then hold me, because right now, you're scaring me."

Was this the same boy she was fantasizing about proposing to her a few minutes ago? He may think that her taking three years to realize how he felt about her was too long, but to her thinking, it had still come far too soon. She wanted forever, and fourteen was awfully young to get started on forever.

---

"Maybe people won't think you're a whore, maybe they'll just think I'm generous - which isn't exactly a trait that is prevalent in my family," he didn't turn around, but he did halt. "Maybe your parents won't mind someone buying you a new broom, maybe they'll be thankful. Maybe Lorccan will appreciate it, too."

His shoulders slumped, head fell forward. A hand rubbed at his cheeks and ran through his crazy hair. "He knows now, Siobhan. He knows about us, and he hasn't told your parents," Pratt spoke barely above a whisper. "The one person you didn't want to find out, found out. And we're still hiding."

---

"Fine. Don't hide. From anyone at the school. Tell everyone but my parents that we're together. I don't know why Lorccan acted so out of character. I can tell you that if we made out in front of him, he'd probably hex you, or start in on a fist fight, or practice his dark magic on you. He doesn't know we kiss, let alone French kiss."

Please touch me, she begged silently. Look at me. "As far as my brother goes, ask him how my parents feel about people giving me expensive gifts. Or how he feels. I obviously don't know him anymore. He has changed, since he accepted us and didn't act the way I thought I knew he would."

---

"People change. I'm proof of that," he turned and looked at her, red-eyed and wet-cheeked. "Aren't I? I've faltered, I know, but I haven't touched a drop of calming draft. Or anything else."

Pratt sighed and took her hand. "I just feel like you're ashamed of me," he admitted, lacing his fingers in hers. "Because you're still hiding me. I don't want to be your dirty little secret anymore. I want to be able to do this," he indicated holding her hand. "In public, in front of other people. I know I said I knew you weren't ashamed of me before, but that was before Lorccan knew. I'm proud to love you, but I don't feel like you're proud to love me."

---

"I'm proud to love you, Pratt." She couldn't believe she'd made him cry. "I promise, once we get out of here, I'll hold your hand in public and we can tell anyone who asks that we're together, except my parents. Deal?" She stepped closer to him. "Please, if you only knew about all the crazy things that go on through my head, you'd know how serious I am, how proud I am to be yours . . . I just, I don't want to jinx it."

---

"You don't feel like that at all? Like you're a disgusting secret that I want to keep from everyone?" Pratt frowned. "That's how I feel. And that you seem okay with it is worse. I mean... I know not to make out in public, but that's not what I mean... But having to call you my friend and act like only a friend..."

He slipped his hand behind her neck and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I know you don't mean to make me feel that way," his cheek was pressed against her forehead, his other arm wrapping around her back. "But I do."

---

"If you only knew what I was thinking . . . but I'm afraid I'd scare you away. I want to tell the whole world how I feel about you. I'll start with Mr. Castilla if you don't believe me." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "You know what I'm afraid of?" she whispered. "What if we found the best thing in our lives, but we found it too soon? What if we found it before we can use it to make what we need to of it, and we're too young to hold on to it until we are ready?" There, she said it. Now she hoped she didn't send him running away in terror.

---

"If it is too soon - and I don't think it is," he answered, stroking her hair. "If it's too soon, I hope we'll come back to it when the time is right. Maybe the universe had to show us what was right, so we can remember for the future."

Pratt was rarely this insightful, but that's how he felt. It sounded stupid when he replayed his words in his head. "That sounded dumb," he shook his head. "I feel retarded for believing in fate and messages from the universe. A bunch of mumbo jumbo."

Said the wizard at a magical school that was chosen as a caretaker by a sentient lighthouse.

[Snick]

"Then I'll hold on to that. And no matter what we do here, at Salem or in college after, I'll save my everything for you. Because I don't think I'm going to find someone else I feel this way for. No matter how many ups and downs we have before we get to everything." She wanted him to kiss her. Honestly, she wanted a lot more than that, but that was part of that everything, and it could wait.

---

Didn't every girl think every guy was 'the one'? Even if Siobhan felt differently about him than she'd ever felt about anyone didn't mean she wouldn't feel differently about her next boyfriend, too, should there be one. What if she decided those feelings were what was real instead? After all, she still wasn't 'in love' with him. She said as much, said it was too soon. It didn't feel too soon for him, and he felt like an idiot for it and for saying it aloud. It was amazing how Siobhan had the power to soothe and crush his heart simultaneously.
"I'll see you in about eight years, then," one cheek dimpled as he smirked. Pratt started to pull away, but quickly dipped down and gave her a quick kiss. "Just kidding," he whispered before giving her a lengthier smooch.

---

Siobhan's heart was so full, she felt something more than relief when he kissed her, and let herself melt into it. When she pulled away, her eyes were wet too. She wiped them, embarrassed, then elbowed him, laughing. "I think we need to do something ridiculous or Arwen and Castilla will think we've been fighting."

---

"Like what?" Pratt cupped her jaw and ran his thumb across her cheek. "I'm pretty sure there's no tattoo parlor on this little island or anything. We could put some graffiti on the lighthouse. Oh, I think it heard me."

He looked to the lighthouse in the distance and shouted, "I'm kidding!" He could see it sending him to get a billion gallons of paint just for suggesting such vandalism. He took both of her hands and pulled her close, cheek to cheek. "So, what ridiculous thing should we do, Ginger?" he kissed her jaw, just under her ear.

---

"Or maybe not a joke at all . . . " She felt herself turning into a puddle of goo under his touch. "We'll just tell them we're eloping as soon as the lighthouse lets us out of here." She smiled at her half joke. She wasn't planning on eloping any time soon, but her mind was no longer thinking clearly either. "How do you chase every coherent thought from my mind so that all I can think of is how much I want you?"

---

"So, you've gone from coming out of hiding to eloping?" Pratt chuckled, pulling his head back an inch or two.

"You want me?" though he tried to keep his voice even, there was an undertone of voice-cracking giddiness. "I don't know, I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time. But the way you feel, I feel like that 24/7."

Pratt kissed a little lower. He freed one hand to rub her arm, his thumb inadvertently touching where her arm laid against her side. "Just a look at, no, a thought of you," he slowly guided her toward the sand. "Makes me..."

He didn't finish his thought. Another kiss to her neck, a little bit of sucking - but not enough to bruise. She could probably figure out how he meant to end his sentence, the gist of it anyway.

---

Siobhan let herself enjoy his affection and feel the desire pool in her heart as she kissed him softly and ran her hand over his chest, yet the more she knew how much she wanted him, the more the anxious seed of worry grew in her mind. If she wanted him this much after only a few weeks, how would she ever wait until marriage? If she was wise, she would break it off as soon as possible.

"You win," she whispered.

---

"I win?" Pratt put his hand on her waist and pulled back to regard her. "And I didn't even know I was a competitor."

What had he won? The argument? Pratt thought that was over already. Desire comparison? His mind didn't stay focused on his quandaries for long as his hand inched upward slowly. He dipped his head to taste her lips. His conversation with Lorccan hung at the back of his mind. Good Catholic girl... But he wasn't forcing her to do anything. If she wanted to stop, all she had to do was say the word.

---

As his hand seductively made its way towards her breast, she bravely took his hand and pushed it down to her waist. She was already doing enough to get herself a month's worth of Rosaries in confession at the very least, she didn't want to imagine what her parents would do to her, but as the memory of Lorccan's blackened eyes went through her mind, she had an idea of what her father might do, and the idea spoiled her mood. She pushed up on Pratt's shoulders to break it off.

She smiled with slightly swollen lips at his face. "You win, Gilligan. I'm in love with you. But if we don't pace ourselves, we'll never make it eight weeks, let alone eight years."

---

Pratt pouted when she pushed him away, mostly just to be cute. He figured she wouldn't let him cop a feel, but it was worth a shot - he had figured a lot of things wrong so far.

"You're in love with me?" his pout immediately turned into a huge grin, deepening his dimples. "You're in love with me!"

He wanted to shout it from the top of the lighthouse. Pratt kissed her then pulled away and smiled down at her. "We're in love," he whispered.

Taking things slow was going to be difficult. Not that he wanted or expected to have sex any time soon. He could wait for that. It was everything leading up to that that he feared he wouldn't be able to wait on. He nodded in agreement.

"Okay. And we should probably get back inside, but..." Pratt rolled his eyes up and shrugged, showing part shame and part innocence. "I need a few minutes..."

[Snick]

"That's all right. I suspect there's sand all over the back of me. Including my hair. Would you mind using your wand and cleaning me up?" Siobhan asked, sitting up and turning around.

She crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap. "You know . . . if eight years is too long, I might rethink things at four, at least once I'm not in my parents' home, it would be worth looking at independently." Then the sin would between her and God and the church--not her parents. She frightened herself, realizing she was not thinking of getting married at eighteen at all, as she didn't want to put that kind of pressure on him. Could she be a fallen woman for him? She smirked. She didn't know. Now that was a new thought. An hour ago the answer would have been never.

---

Phrixos did as she asked, clearing the sand off her back and out of her hair.

"Why do we have to plan it? Can't we just wait and see?" he asked, crossing his legs 'Indian-style'. "I mean... whether it's four years or eight years, it's a bit soon to plan for anything. How about 'no sooner than four years'?"

Either way, he knew plans were never a guarantee of anything. Pratt's own life had been planned all the way up through retirement. That all changed in the blink of a blackened eye.

---

"I like that. It makes more sense. No sooner than four years. But no matter what, I can't think of anyone I want it to be with but you." She leaned back. "Sorry I'm such a worry wort and so planning about everything. I get that from my mother."

---

"We are young, yet. That may change," Pratt sighed and got to his feet, then held out his hand to her. "But I am relieved that, for now, I'm the only one you want."

Phrixos smiled winningly, a tinge of color touching his cheeks. He wasn't going to kid himself into thinking her feelings would remain for four years, let along longer than that.

---

Siobhan smiled wearily. "You put up with an awful lot from me. I didn't use to be such a worrier. I was always a little, but I've been far worse since . . . " she sighed, not even wanting to say it, "the Hello Dance." She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. "Your girlfriend is awfully neurotic. Always worried, planning the future, how do you stand me?" she put both arms around him and smiled up at him.

---

"The same way you stand your anxiety-ridden, recovering stoner boyfriend with anger management problems," Pratt grinned goofily as he snaked his arms around her. "I know you aren't with me for my looks or personality... or popularity... or smarts... or money... or ambition........ Why are you with me, Ginger?"

He laughed, though there was a bit of true curiosity behind the question. He had very little to offer to anyone, and especially to someone as special as Siobhan. Pratt was a loser, and he knew it - prided in it at times.

---

"You make me laugh, and you have an amazing smile, complete with dimples, and you're smart, even if you hide it. I always feel comfortable with you. Like I belong here." She scooted in closer, even though that left them with no distance between them. "And a small reason is, you make me feel pretty. I've always felt plain before--a smart girl, but not pretty. But you make me feel like I'm one of the pretty girls. I've never felt like one of them before."

---

"Really?" he couldn't not smile. "You're not just a pretty girl, you're the prettiest."

His cheeks were warm. Pratt was blushing - and not out of embarrassment or passion for once. He held Siobhan close and kissed her forehead. "You're the prettiest girl and you make me feel good," he added. "About myself. No one else does that. Never have."

---

"Prettiest?' Siobhan blushed. She didn't believe him for a moment, not that she thought he was lying, just that he was delusional. "I am glad that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you are my beholder." She slid her hand down into his. "We'd better get back before Castilla comes looking for us."

---

"Inside and out," he added, nodding.

"Yeah," Pratt squeezed her hand, then said in a valley girl voice. "Plus, like, omigod, I wanna hear what happened on Arwen's date."

He smirked and led Siobhan back to the keeper house.